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Do you think that birth moms should be allowed to sign adoption papers BEFORE their baby is born? Why or why not?
-Cindy
26 Thursday Jul 2012
Posted Adoption
inTags
Do you think that birth moms should be allowed to sign adoption papers BEFORE their baby is born? Why or why not?
-Cindy
17 Tuesday Jul 2012
Posted Open Adoption
inTags
adoption blogs, adoption statistics, infertility blogs, infertility statistics, infertility support, Open Adoption
Here are some statistics on Open Adoption:
A 2012 study from the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute titled “Openness in Adoption” reports that only 5 percent of today’s adoptions are closed; the remaining 95 percent are open or semi-open adoptions. The study also cites benefits for adopted children who have continued contact with and access to their birth parents after they are adopted.
Contact with birth families allows adopted children to maintain access to medical, genealogical and family histories. Youth in open adoptions also have a better understanding of the meaning of adoption and more active communication about adoption with their adoptive parents.
Adopted teens who had open and semi-open adoptions described a range of benefits including:
(Source: www.americanadoptions.com)
-Cindy
26 Tuesday Jun 2012
Posted Open Adoption
inTags
adoption, adoption blogs, domestic adoption, infertility, infertility blogs, infertility support, Open Adoption
Note: Miracle Monday for this week will be posted later in the week.
This is a small study but offers some statistics on Open Adoption:
A study by Grotevant and McRoy, published in 1998, reported that 72 percent of adoptive parents were satisfied with their birth mothers and nearly all but one birth mother in the study were satisfied with their contact with the adoptive parents. Further study reported two-thirds of agencies grew to endorse open adoption practices in less than a decade.
I know the prospect, the idea, of an open adoption scared me in the beginning. I think this statistic shows that people can usually work through this unique type of relationship. As any relationship there may be bumps and things that need to be worked through but for the most part this is a workable relationship, one that benefits the child.
-Cindy
23 Thursday Feb 2012
Posted Adoption, General Infertility, International Adoption, Open Adoption
inIf you decided to adopt, would you adopt internationally or try to find a birth mother in the U.S. and have a domestic adoption? What are the pros and cons of each?
-Cindy
27 Friday Jan 2012
Posted General Infertility
inTags
adoption blogs, infertility, infertility blogs, international adoption, IVF, Open Adoption, Open Adoption Blogs
Starting next month “Recipe for a Family” will have daily themes that address different issues with Adoption/Loss/Infertility. Following will be the format:
Miracle Mondays: Faith-based support and success stories
The Truth about Trying Tuesdays: Facts about Adoption/Loss/Infertility
While you Wait Wednesdays: Weekly tips/activities to help deal with the waiting (2ww, waiting for “the call”, general waiting, dealing with disappointments)
The Thursday Thinker: A weekly question to ponder/comment on
Family “Recipe” Fridays: Each week a different family story will be featured (share your story at: recipeforafamily@hotmail.com for a chance to be featured, looking for stories from the whole spectrum of infertility, from those just starting out to those who have completed their families.)
Also friend me on Facebook starting Feb 1st, Cindy Rasmussen, Author and follow on Twitter@CindyJRasmussen.
Feel free to send any specific question to my e-mail (recipeforafamil@hotmail.com) and I personally will respond within the week. I would love to hear what you’re dealing with and offer any help I can.
-Cindy
26 Thursday Jan 2012
Posted Adoption, Open Adoption
inI went to pick-up my daughter from Girl Scouts yesterday and they had painted Valentine T-shirts They were very cute and had hearts on them with their names painted on the front. I looked around for my daughter’s and couldn’t find it. Then I found one with her middle name on it: “Layla” (which is the first name her birth mom picked for her.) She has been talking about changing her name and has been writing her middle name on her work at school.
A part of me is bothered because I LOVE the name I picked for her (Lexi)but most of me gets that this is probably just a phase. She is 8 and starting to understand more about her adoption and becoming more independent. Her birth mom knew we wanted to change her name and she was fine with that so it wasn’t a big deal. We kept it as her middle name because of the significance.
I think I will just have to wait this out and see how long she goes on like this. They are just learning to write in cursive and I must say “Layla” in cursive does look beautiful…but so does “Lexi”.
-Cindy
12 Thursday Jan 2012
Posted Uncategorized
inHere is a list of helpful books on Open Adoption. Some are classics that have been revised and others are newer:
1. The Open Adoption Experience – A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families by Lois Ruskai Melina
2. Raising Adopted Children: Revised Edition by Lois Ruskai Melina
3. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
4. Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber
5. The Whole Life Adoption Book: Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family by Thomas C Atwood and Jayne E. Schooler
-Cindy
11 Wednesday Jan 2012
Posted Adoption, Open Adoption
inFor our open adoption, our strategy to find a connection with a birth mom included the following:
1. be placed in the agencies “Magic Book of Waiting Parents”
2. tell everyone we know we were looking to adopt
3. walk around the mall late at night hoping some teen mom would randomly approach us and offer to make an adoption plan (not recommended)
4. sit by the phone and wait…
There are more resources out there now to help parents get connected with potential birth mothers. One organization that helps manage the process and focus your efforts is My Adoption Advisor.
They offer three areas of assistance:
1. On-demand and live webinar adoption education courses
2. Adoption Profile Services
3. Advertising & Networking Services
Check out the website for some really valuable information. I wish this had been available years ago when we went through our open adoption process.
-Cindy
10 Tuesday Jan 2012
Posted Adoption, Open Adoption
inA listing of the best open adoption blogs is posted at the following:
Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011
My blog post about “Did I get the Call?” made the list (December 2011 Archives) and there are so many more heartwarming tales.
-Cindy
09 Monday Jan 2012
Posted Adoption, Open Adoption
inTags
When we considered doing domestic adoption there were a few things I really worried about. What if we never got picked, what if the Birth Mom changed her mind, what if the Birth Father shows up later and wants the baby. But what I couldn’t really wrap my brain around at the time was what it would look like 5 years down the road, or ten.
Our daughter’s Birth Mom was the daughter of one of our neighbors. The neighbors still live there although the Birth Mom has moved elsewhere. So we run into Birth Grandma, Birth Grandpa and Birth Dog (a golden retriever) off and on. Yes, I never considered the role of a Birth Dog in my daughter’s life.
As years go by I have let go of many of my preconceived “Kodak Moments” and filled them in with reality. For Christmas our tradition has been to decorate the Christmas tree and the rest of the house the day after Thanksgiving. Joey and I put the tree up and the rest of the kids help put on all the ornaments. This year my husband had to work so he was not there to participate in the annual tree decorating but when I went out to hang the wreath on the door our daughter’s Birth Grandma was out walking the Birth Dog. With her was their oldest son, visiting from out east where he works and is in graduate school. I invited them all in so they could spend some time with Lexi.
So decorating our tree this year was me, my six kids, our daughter’s Birth Grandma, Birth Uncle and Birth Dog. It was actually quite nice. The kids had a blast having an audience as they shared the story behind each ornament and showing off all the ornaments they made in preschool. And Lexi’s Birth Uncle who is single and does not have any kids seemed to be loving it. The Birth Dog was a huge hit with the 3-year-old twins who LOVE animals and it was nice to hear about Lexi’s Birth Mom from Birth Grandma.
Open Adoption has its ups and downs but sometimes it can surprise you.
-Cindy
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