Since infertility can be a personal issue and friends and family may not understand, do you find online forums and blogs to be a helpful place to find support?
I know when I was waiting to adopt people would assure me that it would happen soon. Well, they didn’t know that. And what is “soon” to someone who has been waiting for years? They meant well and they just want to be encouraging but maybe sometimes what I wanted to hear was, “Wow, all this waiting must be very difficult for you. This must be a very hard time.”
So if you are waiting, I say those words to you today.
You are not alone!
“Infertility is a disease, and if you have been diagnosed, you are not alone. According to The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 7.3 million Americans, or 1 in 8 couples of childbearing, age are infertile.” www.resolve.org
I just started reading Ann Voskamp’s, One Thousand Gifts, and I was drawn in by the use of the word Eucharisteo. I’m not that familiar with the biblical term but as she describes it, it is finding blessings and being thankful. She goes on to write about how to find joy right now, where you are, in what ever situation you are.
How does that apply to those who are going through infertility? Can you really be thankful and feel joy during a time that is so painful? I think so, I hope so, I continue to try to find ways to help people achieve some kind of peace to get through this trial.
I’m anxious to read more so I can apply it to the struggles of infertility and loss. I will let you know what I discover.
Did you and your spouse talk about having kids before you got married? Did you agree that you both wanted children? Did you talk about when you might want to start a family and/or how many kids you would want? Has any of these changed over time?
If you have set some time aside this Wednesday to talk with your spouse take a few moments to walk in their shoes. I know I was always anxious to rattle off my latest let down or how sad I was to see THREE pregnant gals at Target, but I rarely sought out my husband and asked how he was handling everything. So today ask your spouse how he/she is doing. Let them talk. Let them express their honest opinions. See if you are on the same page or are experiencing things quite differently. Try not to be judgemental or offer your expertise. Then use what he/she said as a starting block for a conversation next Wednesday…
“I know you said last week that you really don’t want to consider adoption. Is there a time in the future we could revisit that decision?” or
“I remeber last week you said you were really worried abou the cost of infertility treatments. I am too. I took some time this past week and talked to our insurance company to find out what the costs would be. This is what I found…”
While you are going through the pain of infertility remember the other people it is affecting as well. Sometimes feeling like you are helping someone else can give you a little boost in this time when everything seems unfair.
Have you been told that you have a thyroid issue? Is it affecting your fertility? Read this article from RESOLVE about Ovulatory Disorders.
“The major effects of abnormal thyroid levels relates largely to changes in ovulation and menstruation. Ovulation may be impaired by changes in the production of: sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG), follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), estrogen, and androgens to name a few.”
Every bit of information you can gain about possible contributors to your infertility will be invaluable. Often infertility is the result of multiple conditions so discuss with your doctor any and all concerns you may have.
Sometimes we just don’t know what to pray for anymore. We’ve asked (sometimes begged) God for a pregnancy, a baby, an adoption and yet we still have empty arms. We’ve prayed for direction, what should we don next? Who should we see? Who can we get help from?
At a Bible Study last week the speaker recommended when our faith is weak that we pray and ask for more faith. That seemed odd at first but it makes sense. One of the biggest struggles with infertility is the wait. So trying praying for more patience. You have been pateint already but ask God for more peace while you wait. When you start to feel anxious pray for patience and peace.
I like to be financially responsible and live pretty frugally, but what about when it comes to paying for IVF or other infertility treatments? I found this website claiming it offers discount IVF treatments and more. What do you think about this?
When it comes to something as important as getting the right egg/sperm to make a baby I would want to be sure I was working with a reputable facility. I don’t mind getting a cute hanbag from the thrift shop but when it comes to my medical care i’m not sure the least expensive is the best. What is your opinion?
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