In Chapter 8 of “Hannah’s Hope” by Jennifer Saake the author asks “Can we trust God?” She talks about a turning point in her journey when she finally raised her arms to God and gave it all over to Him. She says, “In my quest for answers, I came face to face with the bitter reality that I wanted to let God be my Lord only as long as He did things on my terms.”
She compares this to the agony that Hannah felt that led her to finally surrender when she began to realize the same “pain and peace in letting go of her illusion of control.”
This applies to the whole journey of infertility as well as when you DO become a parent. I was so worried when we finally did become pregnant that we would miscarry, then I worried I would go into preterm labor, then I worried the babies wouldn’t survive the NICU, then I worried about SIDS. All of those things were out of my control. I did what I could, followed the doctors orders and all the “rules” but beside that it was still up to God.
In a week I will send my kids off to school and there are worries. But I am such a stronger person for having gone through what I went through that my trust in God allows me to enjoy my kids without unneeded worry. In the “For Further Thought” section the author shares how she has kept journals of life lessons she has learned. She uses them during times of distress and times when God seems to be absent. This is such a great idea because although we know God has been faithful in the past it is easy to forget and to believe “How on earth is God going to make anything good out of THIS?” whatever “this” may be for you. Look back and see all the times He has come through for you.