In Chapter 6 of “Hannah’s Hope” by Jennifer Saake, the author compares the weariness of having a chronic disease will having infertility. In her early twenties she fell ill and for months the doctors were unable to find what was wrong. Finally a diagnosis was given and it was an illness that would not go away but as she put it, “‘be a thorn in my flesh’ for as long as I live.”
Those of you who have “unexplained” infertility may be so frustrated. You believe that if you knew what was wrong then you could fix it. Often that is the case. But sometimes knowing may lead to answers you don’t want to hear.
Either way the parallel is that, as with chronic illness, infertility shapes who you become. The pain, the hurt of the struggle may lessen but it never fully goes away. Even if you conquer your infertility.
Holidays, anniversaries will all be reminders of what you went through. Especially anniversaries of losses you may have had or due dates that never came to be. And the dreaded mother’s day. If you are not a mother, and long to be, this can be one of the hardest times of the year.
I love how she ended the chapter with a verse from Proverbs:
“Even in laughter the heart may ache.” Proverbs 14:13
She is encouraging you to know someday you will laugh again, even if you believe the pain will never go away. You will laugh again, and you don’t need to feel guilty when that time comes.