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One excercise is to replace the words “infertility treatments”, “adoption expensenes” or “IVF costs” with the words “new car”, “vacation”, “new home”.  If you decided to finance the latter you would have to find a way to get the money to pay for it.  Yes, it is easier to finance a new house than fertility treatments (there are no 30 year fixed rate mortgages for IVF) but there are ways to put money asside for treatments (and adoption-don’t forget the adoption tax credit).  As soon as I realized we would just have to pay for much of the expenses on our own it was easier to get over the injustice of it (it was still really hard!)