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In John and Sylvia’s book “When the Cradle is Empty”, Chapter 13 deals with the tough questions of knowing when it is time to move on.  They start off by explaining, “No one can give you a formula for making it.  Each couple’s decision will be based on factors whose importance only that couple can determine.”

They offer this advice:

  1.  Face the facts.  Listen to what the doctors are telling you and look realistically at your prognosis.
  2. Both husband and wife should decide.  They emphasize the importance of this to avoid future resentment.
  3. Don’t make a hasty decision.  Avoid the “early drop-out syndrome” by understanding what is involved in the whole process.
  4. Be willing to change your mind.  Don’t be afraid to change your mind if circumstances change or after a break you gain a new perspective.
  5. Don’t be unduly influenced by others.  Don’t let outside pressure force you inot “keeping on” when you’ve had enough.
  6. Take it to the Lord.  Pray, seek advice from a church leader or Christian friends.


As I posted last Thursday it is a very difficult decision.  Sometimes the decision may be more obvious than others.  Sometimes you just have to trust your instincts and choose the option that seems to be best for the both of you.  Think about other decisions you’ve had to make that don’t have a clear answer.  Maybe you had to decide to take a medication that would provide immediate relief but may have long-term side-effects.  Maybe you had to decide if a job out-of-state would be the best move for you but it would mean moving away from friends and family.  There are usually pro’s and con’s for all decisions.  Make a decision and then sit with it for a day or two.  Then talk about it.