Waiting is one of the hardest struggles related to infertility. The infamous 2 week wait (2ww) to see if you’re pregnant, the waiting 2 more weeks to try again when you find out you’re not, the wait to see the specialist, the waiting on test results. If you are further down the road maybe it’s the wait for the next round of IVF or the approval of your home study to begin the adoption process. Maybe you have a picture of your child you are soon to adopt and you are just waiting to bring them home. Maybe you’re waiting for a reluctant spouse to share your views on what the next step should be. There is a lot of waiting.
To help in the waiting you need to take charge of as much of the process as you can. Wednesdays I post ideas to help you through the waiting that is a part of infertility.
1. Decide how you want to manage your emotions. You can worry all the time, you can do the roller coaster (hopeful, hopeful, hopeful…disappointed, disappointed, disappointed…repeat) or you can take charge of your emotions. Choose one day of the week to focus on your issues (Wednesdays for example) and defer all thoughts, worries, discussions until that one day.
2. Be prepared to redirect your thoughts. If you start to get anxious about being pregnant or getting a call from a birth mom be prepared with a different topic, unrelated to children, to take your mind off of it. Remind yourself that you can think about it on Wednesday but not until then.
3. Give yourself permission to hope and dream, but limit it. Again choose a day that you allow yourself to believe that you will have a child. Remind yourself why you want to be a parent or why you want to parent another child. Nurture your dream.
4. Create a Plan B (or C…D…E…). Be prepared for your next disappointment. How will you handle it? What will be your next steps in your family building plan? This will lesson the blow.
Waiting is not easy but you can manage it better by being prepared to deal with the emotions that go along with it!