Yesterday we talked about “Feelings and Facts”, today lets look at “Fears”. Fear can be a healthy thing, it can help us think through decisions before jumping into something, but it can also hold us back from making a decision. When you look at the two or three choices you have for your next step in your family building journey what is your biggest fear about each? For example, “I’m afraid if we adopt…” Now play it out even further. What would be the WCS (worst case scenario) for each choice. How would you handle the WCS if it came true? Many of our fears are based on financial concerns. We don’t want to “waste” money on treatments if they don’t produce a baby at the end. Same with adoption, how can we afford it and what if we spend all that money and the birth mom changes her mind? These are all legitimate fears and one of the best ways to deal with these types of fears is planning. There are a lot of things in life that are uncertain and risky but with planning and risk analysis the situation is more manageable.
So, evaluate your biggest fears including “What if we never have a baby!” It may be devastating to think about, but going through the mental exercise of what it would be like can be helpful. It may also help you bring clarity as to what your next step should be.